either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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