you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize