you guys were way drunker than both of me
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
