I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
