Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
