you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
