I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
