Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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