They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
