16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
