I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Come share oat with me in your robe
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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