dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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