he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
