You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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