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Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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