The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
