I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
only you would photoshop your dick
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
