JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
