No awkward lesbian experiences without me
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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