i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
