btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
