just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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