Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
