member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
