just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
