how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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