His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Your cock deserves a montage
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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