Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
