tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
