David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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