you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
