my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
