Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
