even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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