I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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