Im at strip club and am horny
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Acid is not a monday night drug
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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