is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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