Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
