Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
