She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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