I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
