Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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