If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
