I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
