I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize