Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
