do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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