He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
