the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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