I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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