I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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