I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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