Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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