spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
