I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
NoShamevember. You game?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
