I feel great
I just peed on a car
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I've blown a few things in my day
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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