Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
