Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
