you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize