i don't like sucking hair
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i out mim tonsoeep
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
