Someone shit on the floor
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Randomize
