well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Randomize
