idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
