So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
