I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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