I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
