508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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