dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
