Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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