I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
