super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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