So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
