She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
