Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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